Family Traditions - Parenting Creatively Newsletter #1
The perfect opportunity to parent creatively? A good ol' fashioned family tradition.
Now that the holidays are over, I’m sure you are enjoying some much needed stillness in your schedule. But, hey, nothing beats those holiday traditions!
For as long as I can remember, we’ve had an enormous seafood dinner on Christmas Eve at my Nana’s. She cooks a ton of crab legs - yet it never feels like it’s enough to us fiends - butterfly shrimp, baked cod, scallops, fried oysters, and the list goes on and on. Us grandkids wait 364 days each year just for this meal.
It’s my absolute favorite family tradition. I have no idea how or when it started; I’m just lucky to be a part of it.
I remember talking with my wife before we had children, maybe even before we were married, about replicating the famous spaghetti breakfast from Elf each Christmas with our children: a plate of spaghetti, piled with both maple and chocolate syrup, marshmallows, M&Ms, and topped off with a crumbled chocolate fudge Pop Tart.
One of the most exciting elements of building a family is doing things your way, forming your own little posse. One way to make your family feel special and unique? One way to separate and differentiate your children’s upbringing from yours?
Starting family traditions!
Now, traditions don’t have to be something relegated just to the holidays, nor should they be. Start annual traditions, yes, but also consider adapting previous traditions or creating weekly and monthly traditions! It’s your family; there’s no rules!
Why Start Traditions?
You’re likely reading this because you’re interested in adding more creativity to your family’s lives. What better reason to start a tradition?
Traditions should be fun! Think about all of the traditions that you hated (and still might) as a child. Now, think about the ones you loved, the ones that you couldn’t wait to go to.
It’s your turn to be in charge. You’re the parent. You have the opportunity to do things differently than your parents did. You’re allowed to dismiss boring traditions and replace them with something you and your family find exciting, engaging, and uniquely you.
I would never urge anyone, for the large majority of things, to stick to the old adage, “That’s the way we’ve always done it,” as cause for continuing something dreadful. The same is true for family traditions.
Your children are not the same child you were. They live in a completely different world than you were raised in. You’re able to open their eyes and expose them to more than your parents were. Those reasons alone should be enough to begin new traditions.
Starting a new tradition is a unique and creative way to bring unity to your family. It’s an opportunity to bring everyone together and enjoy a frequent communal experience.
Legacy
Traditions also serve as an opportunity to connect generations.
Do you have a tradition that’s been in your family for ages? Or, have you ever wondered how long your family has continued a tradition?
Maybe not. But, you can surely recall your favorites from childhood, and hopefully you’ve passed them on, or plan to pass them on, to your children.
Talking about your favorite traditions from childhood is a great way to share your story and your experience as a child. When your children ask questions about these traditions, that’s the perfect opportunity to ask your parents, if you are still able to. They may reveal their experience with the same tradition from their childhood, or they may reveal how they started this tradition themselves. You’ve now uncovered a multi-generational story that your children get to become a part of as well.
Crafting Traditions From Scratch
Now, where do you start when creating a new tradition?
Well, your family’s values and interests are likely at the core of each tradition you either continue or begin. If you decide to continue a tradition, it’s likely that you find it interesting and your family does too, or it still aligns with your family’s values. If you abandon a tradition, it’s likely that it no longer aligns with your beliefs, values, or interests.
So, consider what you and your family find valuable and interesting. For your values to be the center of your family, put them on full display by starting a tradition that reinforces them. Whatever you deem important or valuable should not just be preached, but practiced as well.
"Children learn more from what you are than what you teach." - W.E.B. Du Bois
Considering your children’s interests could also be a great place to start.
What traditions would they find fun and engaging?
What’s something they likely won’t grow tired of any time soon?
What do your children place at the top of their list of values and interests?
Annual Traditions
The holidays are great (or completely dreadful) in part because of traditions! Going to the same places, eating the same meals, and playing the same games each year transforms these gatherings into all-day events rather than quick dine-and-dash excursions.
But, annual traditions stretch beyond the holidays! Consider your family’s interests, values, beliefs, and personalities. What is something that you would love to do at least once a year? Do that with your family! What is something that you did once, alone or with some friends, and you’ve always dreamed of doing it again, but with your family? Make that a tradition!
Share your love for the Lord of the Rings franchise by watching the entire trilogy in one day. Block out a free Saturday, go select a day’s worth of snacks the night before, and don’t leave the couch all day as you enjoy the magical world of Middle-Earth together.
Make camping a new summer tradition by finding a local campground to lease from, or go tent camping at local parks.
Make a trip to visit faraway relatives once a year.
Take turns rereading your favorite books together.
Alternate who gets to pick the big summer vacation each year.
Make your new annual traditions a big deal. Make them a spectacle. Even if they’re small, make them feel bigger than they are. Everyone will have fonder memories because of it.
Monthly & Weekly Traditions
Add even more creativity and excitement to your life by creating monthly or weekly traditions.
What’s that one thing your family claims to do “once a month?” That’s a tradition!
What do you wish you did more of throughout the week? Find time to do it once a week. It’s now a tradition!
Create a weekly menu together. Gather input from everyone about what to cook.
Dedicate one day of the week to eating out if you’re able to.
Once a week, find a show to watch together. Rotate who gets to make the selection.
For parents with older children, start a monthly book club.
Take a local class together each month to encourage learning and exploring.
Weekly or monthly traditions add creativity and fun to routines and schedules. A weekly or monthly tradition can tremendously jolt your household’s creativity. By increasing the opportunities to add creativity to your family’s life, I guarantee that each member will begin seeking more creative outlets and moments to add creativity.
A Canvas for Creativity
Now, are you looking to add more artistic creativity to your family?
If so, consider these possibilities:
Create the tradition of celebrating art by taking weekly painting or monthly pottery classes together.
Don’t bother buying expensive art for your house decor. Instead, create a tradition of making your own decorations.
Have everyone draw or paint a mural to hang on the wall.
Craft a new clay vase to display on the dining room table.
Mold a new dining set when you grow tired of yours.
Watch woodworking tutorials and try to make a new end table together.
Craft playlists together.
Make monthly playlists where everyone is allowed to contribute songs that they’re currently in love with.
Create playlists for a particular time of year or specific events:craft the perfect road trip playlist, the perfect summer playlist, a playlist of your favorite soundtracks, the perfect house cleaning or cooking playlist.
Read as much as you can together, but don’t get caught up on just reading stories.
Let everyone’s creativity loose by creating their own stories.
Make them up on the fly before bedtime.
Divide roles and create a picture book together.
Host silly slam poetry nights.
Adding artistic traditions into your family is one of my favorite ways to parent creatively. Allow everyone the opportunity to release their inner artist.
Spontaneous Sparks
However, some of the most exciting traditions are those that happen spontaneously. Continue chasing the excitement of one special moment or event by turning it into a tradition.
On a weekend trip to Indianapolis with some friends several years ago, we randomly decided to eat at a local Buca Di Beppo, and we all fell in love. The food was great, the environment was fun and family-oriented. So, as a result, we’ve made this somewhat of an annual tradition: whenever we’re all in town together, once or twice a year, we all meet up for dinner at Buca. Now that a couple of us have children, they, too, have become a part of the tradition.
Be spontaneous at home. If you are bored by routines and rigid schedules, add some spontaneity to your life. Trying something new could feel refreshing, cleansing even. That spontaneous decision may rejuvenate you, your family, and your schedule. Schedules and routines are great, but only when they’re working. Try adding or altering your schedule. Ask your kids randomly what they would like to do, cook, etc. You may find that they have some of the best ideas and their spontaneous decisions become your new staples.
Spontaneous trips are a great tradition to adopt. If you’re a family who enjoys travel, make spontaneous trips a staple!
Small weekend getaways.
Camping trips.
Unplanned vacations while your children are on break at school.
You don’t always needs plans. Being spontaneous can be more exciting in my experience.
Tweaking Traditions
Now, eventually your children will grow tired of some traditions, just like you did. Ask yourself how you can keep a tradition alive while tweaking it. How can you continue the essence of the tradition, but altering it to meet your family’s current interests? What do you want to place value on that maybe your parents didn’t?
Steal traditions like an artist, as Austin Kleon would say. Where have you seen or read about traditions so genius you become envious? Steal them! Make them your own.
The originator of the tradition doesn’t know, nor do they care, that you’ve adopted it. But, add your family’s uniqueness to it. In regards to a newly discovered tradition, what would resonate with your family? What wouldn’t? Brainstorm ways to make it your own.
I recently saw a post sharing the tradition of weekly meal nights, or themed meal nights, that they continue throughout year. For example, Tuesday nights were pasta nights and Friday’s were pizza and movie nights.
I loved this idea! But, I could never cook the same meals each week. So, taking this tradition, I figured I would transform our kitchen into a restaurant. As a family, we began planning meals for the following week. I love themed nights, so I tried to incorporate a theme for each night (German night, Mexican night, salads, sandwiches etc.) The ideas were flowing, and they still are!
Don’t be afraid of stealing someone else’s tradition just because you didn’t come up with it. Be creative and work with your family to make it your own. Make it a (insert family’s last name) tradition!
Traditions That Grow With Your Family
Don’t forget to be flexible with traditions. I cannot emphasize enough that traditions do not remain traditions if they are forced or done passively, without enthusiasm or interest.
Part of parenting creatively is being adaptable, so when traditions feel more like routines or chores, pivot! There’s no shame in adapting an existing tradition. Your family changes. Your interests change. Your values may change. These changes should be emphasized and acknowledged by altering traditions.
Call-to-Action
Take some time this week to really think about your family traditions. What do you love about them? Where do you see an opportunity to add a new annual, monthly, or weekly tradition? Where did you hear about a tradition that you just loved? Steal it! Make it yours.
This week, consider where you can add a new tradition to your life. Pitch the idea to your family. Have everyone pitch ideas. Give them a try and see how it goes.
Thank you for reading the first Parenting Creatively newsletter. I appreciate all of the support, and I’m glad that you are here and a part of this community.
I’d love to hear some of your favorite (or least favorite) family traditions!
If you enjoyed this newsletter or found it insightful, please like it and feel free to share it or recommend it to someone else. We’re all trying to figure out how to parent creatively together.
Have a great week!